One of the most common reasons people don’t become foster parents is because they are not sure how they will be able to say goodbye to a child when he/she returns to their biological family. While goodbyes can always be painful, time spent caring for a child in need can be the most joyful and meaningful time of your life. One KVC foster parent shares her experiences and advice for others.
“Today was a painful day for our family. We said goodbye to this beautiful girl after loving her and caring for her for 19 months. I am not comfortable sharing emotional or personal things online, but I really try to use this forum to spread awareness about foster care.
Since I share the good, I feel like I should share the hard too. We haven’t held anything back from this little girl. We have given her our hearts, even though we knew she would most likely only be ours for a little while. So why do we do it? Because for 19 months, she has been safe and loved. In reality, someday she probably won’t even recognize us. We won’t be mommy and daddy, or brother and sister anymore. But I believe that she will carry our family in her heart. She has learned to trust and bond. She has the tools to become a strong and happy person. Every child deserves that chance.
Time moved so fast today. I knew everything was the “last”; the last sleepy face in the morning, the last story, the last giggle, the last kiss. I just wanted to freeze time and force her squirmy, active self to sit still and let me snuggle her! But she didn’t know about the “lasts.” She just knows she is a happy, well-loved little girl. So for now, that’s enough.
We would do it all again in a heartbeat, even as the tears continue to fall, because when it comes right down to it, we are the lucky ones. We got to know her and love her. She has brought so much beauty into our lives and we will hang on to those memories. The pain will lessen. And, most importantly, I get to wake up everyday and look at the beautiful faces of the precious children that I do get to keep. I didn’t give birth to all (or most) of them, but they are my family and that is always enough. There is nothing special about our family. We have all of the same struggles as everyone else. We just do the best we can to love as many children as God chooses to share with us. Maybe your family can do the same?”
This blog presents a common question foster families have: “How will we be able to love a child and watch them leave our home after they have been with our family for an extended amount of time?” Reintegration is the primary objective for KVC, and over half of the children who enter care will return to their biological families. Loving a child with all your heart and then watching them leave is a painful task, but as this foster mom put so perfectly, “The pain will lessen. And, most importantly, I get to wake up everyday and look at the beautiful faces of the precious children that I do get to keep. I didn’t give birth to all (or most) of them, but they are my family and that is always enough.”
Click here to learn more how you can open your home to a child in need! Everyone can make a difference in the life of a child!