When a court determines that a home is unsafe for a child, they will often place the child in foster care. Foster care is a temporary arrangement for children and teens when their parents or primary caregivers are experiencing a crisis. The goal of foster care is to create a safe and supportive environment for the child while their biological parents work to resolve safety concerns. Ultimately, the aim is to reunite the child with their biological parent or parents as soon as safely possible.

Foster care happens during a challenging time – for both the child and their parents. The trauma of family separation heightens these challenges even more. For this reason, foster parents and kinship caregivers must understand the importance of reunification and partnership with biological family members. Why is it so crucial for foster parents and kinship caregivers to work with biological parents? And what can this look like practically? Let’s explore.

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The Role of Foster Parents in the Foster Care System

As KVC Kansas Child Placing Agency Director Evan Wood says, “Foster parents are really important in their role when they become placements for children because they are supposed to be that safe space, to provide some stability in a really scary time for children.”

Regardless of the reasons behind the foster care placement and their severity, it’s essential for foster parents to remember: children love their parents. Even in the most extreme cases, being removed from their family, home and community is traumatizing and overwhelming for children.

Foster parents and kinship caregivers exist to provide a safe and stable home for children during a period of temporary separation. “Foster care is temporary,” explains Wood. “We don’t want that for a child for a long period of time. We just want a safe space for a child to be while their parents are working on a few things.”

Why It’s Important for Foster Parents & Kinship Caregivers to Partner with Biological Parents

When foster parents and kinship caregivers work with the biological parents of the kids in their care, everyone benefits!

For the Child’s Sake

When a foster parent or kinship caregiver is supportive of the child’s relationship with their biological parents, this can help the child feel safer and more willing to trust. “Children love their parents. They’re always going to have that connection,” says Wood. “It’s important for foster families to partner with children’s biological parents to show them that they care about their parents, too.”

For the Biological Parents’ Sake

Raising children is hard even in the best circumstances and with a great support system! When foster parents and kinship caregivers are willing and eager to support the biological parents of children in their care, it creates opportunities for those parents to have a lifelong support system.

Evan Wood, LMSW

“My hope ideally is for foster parents to become a part of the [biological] parents’ support system: to be there to coach and guide, give pointers, be a safe space for the kids to go to when parents need to work on things,” said Evan Wood, KVC Kansas Child Placing Agency Director.

For the Foster Parents’ Sake

This partnership mindset is good for foster parents and kinship caregivers, too! If caregivers want to continue their connection with the child and their family after reunification, the child’s biological parents will be much more open to maintaining that relationship if the caregivers showed support and advocated for reunification.

Jessi A., who has been a foster parent through KVC for four years, is very passionate about the beauty of creating “one big happy family.” With three children adopted through foster care and five successful reunifications, Jessi has had her share of difficult situations and positive ones.

One toddler her family fostered over a year ago is now happily and safely reunified with her biological father, but Jessi’s family is still heavily involved in the child’s life. They have a close relationship and spend many holidays together. All of which wouldn’t have been possible if Jessi hadn’t been so open to partnering with the child’s father.

Reunification Strategies for Foster Parents and Biological Families

As a foster parent, you’re the primary point of contact for keeping the biological family engaged and connected to the child in your care. You know the child’s current schedule and activities, so it’s up to you to extend the invitation for biological parents or even extended family to be involved when it’s safe, appropriate and best for the child.

At KVC, we typically begin a new placement with a “Good Start” meeting where the foster parents, biological parents and caseworkers review the child’s needs and schedule. They also discuss expectations and responsibilities of all involved parties. This meeting acts as the first introduction between the foster parents and biological parents, setting the stage for future communication and partnership.

At the beginning of the placement, foster parents can empower biological parents AND gain valuable details about the youth in their care by asking practical questions. Here are some examples:

• What are some of their favorite foods?
• Favorite TV shows or movies?
• What are their likes or dislikes?
• Any allergies or health needs?
• What does the child like to play with?

While you may already know the answers to these questions, the biological parent is the expert on their child, and you’ll gain a lot from these conversations.

How to Communicate & Connect With Biological Parents

We also encourage foster parents to exchange contact information with the biological family, when appropriate. This creates open lines of communication where foster families can ask about the child’s preferences or routines, participate in video calls, text photos and updates throughout the week, and stay in touch about upcoming appointments or events.

When safe and appropriate, here are some activities that foster families can do in partnership with biological parents:

• Medical appointments and updates
• Extracurricular activities (sporting events/games, concerts, plays, etc.)
• Holidays (Religious holidays, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, etc.)
• Birthdays (both those of the child and of the biological parents)
• Intentionally planned visits at a park or restaurant

How to Safely Partner with Biological Parents

When a child is placed in foster care, the situation can challenging for everyone involved. But some practical strategies can keep the relationship smooth. Here are three key strategies for foster parents and kinship caregivers to create a safe and successful partnership with the child’s biological parents:

1. Work with Professionals Involved

As a KVC foster parent, you’re not alone! You have a case worker on your team as well as a therapist who meets regularly with the children in your care. Plus, you can rely on your Family Service Coordinator (FSC). FSCs resolve challenges (like communication needs), celebrate successes and connect you to KVC and community resources. They can also help you make sure the child has everything they need and advise you on how best to interact with biological parents.

2. Seek Family Connections

Don’t forget: The child in your care most likely has extended family beyond their biological parents and even beyond blood relation. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, teachers, coaches, family friends… the list goes on! These relationships can provide the child much-needed stability and create safe partnerships if engaging with biological parents isn’t possible or must be limited.

These extended family partnerships can be integral to helping a child feel safe. In one situation, Wood recalls a child whose foster parent struggled to care for her textured hair. So, the child’s aunt visited regularly to do her hair, which helped her look and feel good. It also created a familiar, safe routine, which goes a long way for children experiencing foster care!

As the saying goes, “it takes a village,” and these extended family members can be part of that village.

3. Be Patient Building Trust

Building trust takes time, especially when you need to focus on putting the needs of the child first. With four years of experience as a foster parent, Jessi recalls both success stories and more difficult ones.

“Some bio families have a hard time trusting us because some of them feel like we’re just there to take their kids,” Jessi explains, emphasizing the importance of being sympathetic and understanding of the biological parents’ situation. “I always try to make them as comfortable with me as possible.”

How KVC Kansas Supports Reunification

KVC works hard to create resources and processes that encourage as much partnership as possible between foster and biological parents. These things also aim to support smooth transitions and positive collaborations. In addition to “Good Start” meetings and coordinating visitations, here are a few more strategies that KVC uses to build foster and biological family partnerships:

Family Finder

In our Kinship Department, we have a team member called a “Family Finder.” Their sole responsibility is to research, interview and find extended family and “non-related kin” for children in foster care. Finding these connections strengthens the child’s support network. It also engages people who can help the biological parent and foster parent build a healthy partnership.

Training for Foster Parents

We always want foster parents to feel prepared. That’s why every KVC foster parent goes through in-depth, evidence-based training before their first placement. The primary training required for foster parents is Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting (MAPP) Foundations.

This class prepares foster parents to better support children and families. Especially families who have experienced the trauma of family separation among other traumas. It also provides reunification strategies for foster parents and ideas on how to safely partner with biological families.

Considering Becoming a Foster Parent?

If you’re interested in becoming a foster parent in Kansas, take the first step with KVC today! Learn more about foster parenting and contact us to learn how to become one!